St Patrick's Dragon Balls
by AShErsOfeD
Summary: Hey! This is a St. Patties Day fic i started writing a year ago! and its that time of the year so i figured id continue it! its a Dende romance of how he has to help gohan earn some money at a strip bar!!!! enjoy ~.^
1. Homeless?!

Muahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!!! Ok peoples, this is a good fan fic (I hope!!!)-its also my first, so I really is hoping that yousa will be upon reading it!!! Ill tell u now; it's a dende romance, but don't worry- its got a nice twist to it! This is not namek/ human love story!!! Please r&r!!! thankers!!!

Disclaimer- Mesa no own dbz or any of the people-eoples inside of it… BUT I AM THE OWNER OF MYSELF AND MYSELF IS NOT DRAGON BALL Z!!! okeedokers!!! 

Chapter One

Dende squinted out at the bright rays of sunlight winking at him through the clouds. It was a nice, peaceful, spring day on the planet earth. Peaceful… He was thankful to say the word, that's exactly what it had been for the past few months, now that Buu was defeated. Piccolo was meditating as usual, and Mr. Popo was apparently taking a nap (A/N: what does Popo do with all that spare time, anyways??). But Dende found himself to be, well, there was no other word for it- bored. The thought of this made him feel spoiled, 'Come on, you should be happy there are no people trying to take over/ destroy the universe like there usually is.' he thought to himself. But he simply couldn't concentrate today. And he silently asked 'I wonder what Gohan is doing right now…'

Meanwhile, at Orange Star High School

"Oh, come **on** Videl," Sharpener urged. "It'll be fun!"

"Going out and getting wasted with you at a St. Patty's day party," Videl replied to Sharpener, who was once again pointlessly asking her out. "What the hell is your idea of fun?" 

"Videl, you don't even have to have a drink! We could go somewhere that doesn't sell alcoholic beverages if you want!" 

"Listen Sharpener," her tone of voice was obviously annoyed. "I'm not going on any sort of date, ride, walk, anything with you!" This left him with a rejected look on his face, which Videl completely ignored. "So Gohan, Erasa, what are you guys doing this weekend?"

"uhmm…" *sweat drop* Gohan wasn't exactly jumping out with an answer, Sharpener looked like he was about to burn the desk to cinders- he was absolutely fuming.

"Would you rather hang out with this dweeb!?" He exclaimed, jabbing his finger at Gohan. 

"I'd take that dweeb over you in a flash!" Videl was not going to put up with him for another minute. Sharpener just grunted.

"So Erasa…" Gohan said trying to stay as much out of Videl and Sharpener's way as possible. "What's up?" 

"Not too much… '^_^ " She replied- Videl was getting ready to bite Sharpener's head off (A/N: upper head:).

"Alright, settle down class," said the English teacher, very much to Gohan and Erasa's relief. Videl stopped fighting with Sharpener and concentrated on the booooorrrrring English lesson.

*Time Lapse- After School*

Gohan, Erasa, and Videl were walking down the halls, school had just gotten out.

"So how'd you get rid of Sharpener, Videl?" Erasa asked.

"I guess he finally got the picture," She answered. "but if I know him, that's the last thing that's happened. So really, what are you guys doing this weekend?"

"I'm all open," Gohan said.

"There's this great strip bar a few blocks South of here!" Videl said. "Its 2 bucks to get in, and then 

"Well, its St. Patrick's day on Saturday," Erasa started. "and I was hoping I could get out to do something. Maybe go to a parade, or party??" 

"There's this great strip bar a few blocks South of here!" Videl said. "Its 2 bucks to get in, and then drinks and everything are free! And the people there pay good cash for you to get up and do your own show. And on St. Patty's day, I heard they were having a contest to see who has the best 'St. Patrick's Spirit' with prize money of 20,000 zinny!" 

"I dunno, Videl," Gohan said. "That prize money sounds nice but- I think the parade would probably be better." 

"Alright! The parade is fine with me!" Videl said. "I haven't been to one in a couple of years!"

"Ok!" Erasa said. " So it looks like we're going to the parade. I'm not really sure when it is, so I'll call you guys with all the info first chance I get!" With this they all said their good-byes and headed on their ways.

While Gohan was flying home he thought 'I'm gonna do something special for Videl.' he blushed, but had to admit to himself, 'She's the greatest girl I've ever met and… I love her so much.' With this he did a few loops, Gohan was happy… Until he saw what he did once he got home.

The house was in ruins, Chichi was out in the used-to-be lawn with Goten. There was scraps of kitchen wear and other house hold materials scattered everywhere. It looked like some sort of a hurricane, tornado, and earthquake swept through all at once.

"MOM!" Gohan yelled. "What happened?" He landed in front of her. Chi Chi's tears, Gohan noticed, weren't tears of grief, but of anger. He backed away a little incase she exploded- You could never be too safe.

"grrrrrrr…… THAT AWFUL VEGETA!!! AND YOUR FATHER!!" She exclaimed, Gohan had a pretty good idea of what had happened. "THOSE TWO DECIDE IT'S A GOOD TIME TO START TRAINING!!! WELL LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HOUSE WHEN THEY DECIDE TO GET WARMED UP!!"

"Oh gosh mom, I'm really sorry. If there's anyway I can help-"

"IS THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN HELP?! WE DON'T HAVE A HOUSE, GOHAN!!! OR THE MONEY TO JUST, GET A NEW ONE!!!"

"I know mom, I know," Gohan said, trying to calm her down. "I'll bet Bulma and Vegeta would be willing to let us stay at their place until we get a place going. Or we could stay at Master Roshi's."

"I SHOULD SUE BULMA FOR THIS!!!" ChiChi was swiftly getting more and more POed. "THAT GIRL WAS TROUBLE FROM THE FIRST DAY I MET HER! RUNNING ALL AROUND SEARCHING FOR DRAGON BALLS SO SHE COULD WISH FOR HER OWN PERSONAL FUCK-BUDDY!!" 

"Kame, mom- PIPE DOWN!" Goten said, coming out from the other side of the house ruins. "That's not a very nice thing to call Trunkses mom."

"Listen, we'll figure it all out somehow- Don't worry!" Gohan started back up with the reassuring, which of course did no good. 

"DON'T WORRY MY ASS!!! IT DOES US NO GOOD TO SIT AROUND HERE AND TALK ABOUT DOING SOMETHING!!! YOU SAY YOUR GONNA FIGURE IT OUT?? GET TO WORK!!!" With this ChiChi stormed off, wailing some more at the mess of what had at one time been a happy household. 

Then, a voice popped into Gohan's head, "I'll help!" it said. 

"Huh? Who's there?" asked Gohan quietly, looking around.

"Its me, Dende! Im talking to you telepathically." 

"Ooohhh, hey Dende!" Gohan said. "What's up? Yeah, some help would be great!" just then an idea popped into his head. But Dende, no, he'd never be willing to… "Are you sure you'd help out with anything?"

"Yeah sure Gohan," Dende said, so innocently (must be a virgin). "Its been a little low on action around here lately."

Gohan couldn't bear to bring Dende into this, but the words hammered at his thoughts; '_And on St. Patty's day, I heard they were having a contest to see who has the best 'St. Patrick's Spirit' with prize money of 20,000 zinny!_' 20,000 zinny!!! With that sort of prize money Gohan could get his mom a new home-capsule and still have some left over to split with Dende and get a nice gift for Videl. But Dende, strip bar? They just didn't seem to click. But what other choice did he have? "Dende, I've got an idea of a way we could get the money."

"Really? That's great!" 

"Yeah," Gohan said, what was he kidding himself? Dende was going to see, well, a completely new side of Gohan. "I'll meet you up at your place on St. Patrick's day, that's this Saturday, at 9:00 in the morning."

"Great! I'll see you then Gohan!"

"Yeah… See yaw," Gohan didn't know what he had gotten into, but whatever it was, it smelled really shitty. 'Well' he thought to himself. 'What the hell, whatever happens happens, right?' Gohan went off to find ChiChi and debate where they were going to stay that night. 


	2. Sassay Stuff!

Okokok im sorry if it took me a lil while (only 5 months!) to get this chap out but its here!!! Please read and review!!! ~I know that they don't celebrate St. Patty's day in japan! I just felt like writing this fic this way!~

Disclaimer- DBZ is not mine, nope nope nope, I do not own it one bit, I own my tv that I whatch it from! but I sure as hell don't own one of the best anime shows of all time- DRRRRRRRAGON BALL Z!!!!! lol k- I should probably shut up and start writing the fic now!

Last chap- Vegeta and Goku blew up ChiChi's house. Gohan is planning on going to go a strip bar with Dende on St. Patty's get some cash for a new house and so that Gohan can get Videl a gift type thingy 

"Mom!" Gohan said to ChiChi. "When are u gonna be ready?!" She was dashing around what was left of the house, collecting what she could to last her through the night. "I'm sure Eighteen will have stuff you can borrow!"

"Gohan, Hold on! Ill be ready when I am! That father of yours… grrr" They had decided that Chi Chi would stay at Master Roshi's place, so that she wouldn't kill Goku. Gohan and Goten would be staying with the Breif's, Goku was already over there.

"Alright! I'm set and ready to go!" Chi Chi exclaimed, grabbing the last her of her sloppily packed must haves.

"Well its about time," Gohan said. "Lets go!" He picked his mother up under his arm and levitated into the air. "C'mon Goten!" he hollered.

" I'm coming Gohan! Wait for me!" Goten stopped playing with Toby and flew over to catch up with his brother.

After they had been flying for a few minutes they got to Kame Place to drop off ChiChi. 

"Ok mom, we're here" Gohan said. 

"Hi Marrin!" Goten said, waving and quickly landing so he could go play with her for a few minutes. 

"Gohan!" came an oh so familiar voice from the house. 

"Hey Krillin! What's up?"

"Just the same old," he replied. 

"Yeah I hope you don't mind if my mom stays here for a night or two."

"I don't mind- hehehe," The cooky, perverted, wanna be playa, no good, nasty minded, cant get nothing, not even a 2 cent hoe would stoop so low, probably a virgin, old man (A/N: I just love dissin Roshi!) walked out onto the porch to greet Gohan and co.

"Quit looking old man," Chichi said, turning up her nose and strutting past him into the house to get situated.

"Alright, I'd love to stay, but Goten and I have got to get going over to Bulma's place. I hope Chichi is no trouble for you!"

"She'll be fine!," Krillin said. "I'll see you later!"

"Bye!" Gohan got Goten and they both flew off the rest of the way to Bulma and Vegeta's. (A/N: Eighteen was inside taking a shower :)

They landed in front of the Brief's house. "Gohan, Goten, you're here!" Goku cheered coming out towards them. "What took you so long?"

"Mom needed some stuff. Anyways, how are you all doing?" 

"We're holding up as well as you can with two full grown sayajins in your house all at once." Bulma said, being followed by Trunks. "We actually still have food!" 

"Great! I'm starving!" Gohan and Goten said in unison. The two of them dashed inside to chow down on what was left in the Brief's refrigerator. Goten accidentally rammed into a sweaty Vegeta who had just come out of the gravity training room.

"Watch where your going pipsqueak!" Vegeta yelled at him. "Hmph, son of Kakarott."

"Sorry Mr. Briefs!" Goten said, collecting himself and catching up with Gohan in the kitchen. Trunks came in to join them.

~Outside of the house~

"Your Gohan seems to be growing into quite a younge man!" Bulma said to Goku.

"I know! I even found a bunch of condoms in his gym bag!" Goku said happily. "That boy is always prepared for anything, and safe anything too! Makes me proud!"

"Right…" Bulma- *Sweat Drop*

"Woman! How dare you go snooping around about how you can get that kid in bed with you!" Vegeta walks in! "I suppose I don't suite your pleasings?" 

"Hello to you to, Vegeta," Bulma said sarcastically. "But since we are on the subject… Things in bed have been at a bit of a low lately."

"Is that so," Vegeta started. "Maybe your just getting too old to understand something good when it happens."

"Maybe your just not experienced enough for me," Bulma shot back at him.

"I'll bet your dick is the wrong size for Bulma- she's pretty picky in bed." Goku said to Vegeta.

"AND YOU WOULD KNOW THIS HOW, KAKAROTT?!" Vegeta roared. If there's one thing he cant stand its being told the size of his balls by someone like Goku. 

"Well we've known each other a long time, you get familiar with someones tastes after a while," Goku replied.

"That's it I'm going to kill you right here and now!"

"NO VEGETA!" Bulma exclaimed. "Goku- SHUT UP! Vegeta, calm down!"

"Hey everyone how about some nice harmless sex talk!" Goku said cheerfully. "I've got some good tricks me and Chi Chi use that you two could really use from how it sounds!"

"Get the hell away from me you sick pervert." Vegeta said. 

"Aww come on Vegeta! Now I would try some different sitting positions- And trade places between whose on top the next time you go at it."

"Um, Goku I think that's enough," Bulma said. "Me and Vegeta are just in a bit of a low point right now-"

"LOW POINT?!" Vegeta is not too happy at this moment ^_^ "I'LL SHOW YOU LOW POINT!" With this he abruptly ran and picked up Bulma, one hand clenched tightly on her ass, and started for the house. 

"Vegeta!" Bulma cried, in half shock half pleasure. Goku chuckled to himself and went to the kitchen to join Gohan, Goten, and Trunks.

"Hey dad what was all that ruckus about?" Gohan asked Goku when he walked into the kitchen.

"Oh, just what a fine young man we all think that your becoming!" he said patting his son on the back and taking a seat. 

~Shrieks could be heard from upstairs, the lamp above the kitchen table wobbled as a clear cRAsH could be heard in the room above~

"That didn't sound to good, maybe I should go check on them?" Trunks said.

"Thats ok Trunks, they're fine!" Goku assured him. *Thinks to himself* Must have had trouble with the new positioning.

~Meanwhile at Kame Place~

Chi Chi had unpacked her things, s.

0he was sharing rooms with Marron. She walked over to the window and gazed out at the beautiful view of the ocean. The door creaked open, Chi Chi whipped around to see a little girl staring at her.

"Well hi Marron," She said cheerfully.

"Mrs. Chi Chi- I was just wonderin if you could tie my shoe," Marron said all cutely 'n stuff.

"Sure!" Chi Chi bent down to help Marron with her shoelaces. *To herself* I remember when Gohan was this big… (Memory Time!) Chi Chi envisioned a summer evening. She was out gardening, then a little Gohan struggled to walk over to her- because he was tripping every five steps he took. But once he made it to his mother he asked- "Mommy?" tugging on Chi Chi's skirt, "Can you please tie my shoe for me please?" Chi Chi stood up tall, "WHAT?! Haven't you learned anything at all! How dare you ask me to tie your shoe for you! YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING THAT EASY IN BOOKS OR SOMETHING! I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT PREALGEBRA BY NOW! AND USE PROPPER GRAMMER! DON'T SAY PLEASE TWICE IN A SENTENCE!!!" Tears started to form in both Gohan and Chi Chi's eyes. "My son is growing up to be a hillbilly who cant even tie his own shoes!" Chi Chi was sobbing at this point. "But mommy! I don't know how! Mommy? *sniff sniff* WAAA!!!!!" "Suck it up son! Take this and learn for yourself! And if you ever ask me to tie your shoes again- ILL GET OUT THE FRYING PAN!" With this Chi Chi pulled out a book bigger than the fourth Harry Potter called; Art Of The Laces, and shoved it at a wailing Gohan. "Now, GET BUSY!" ~ Those were good times, Chi Chi said to herself finishing up tying Marron's shoes.

"There you go dear!"

"Thanks Mrs. Chi Chi!"

"Anytime Marron!"

~What was our short friend doing at this time?~

Krillin walked by Master Roshi, watching his usual 'Exercising Program' and sighed. He never hasn't changed a bit. Krillin headed upstairs to his and Eighteens room, when he passed the bathroom he heard running water and smirked to himself. Krillin looked around slyly and reached for the doorknob. Locked! Damn! But Krillin wouldn't give in that fast! He could pick a lock! He pulled out a paper clip from his pocket and started doing his work.

"Silly Daddy- Mommy's in the bathroom right now!" Marron giggled walking up to Krillin. 

Krillin jumped two feet off the ground, "Oh hey Marron, you scared me, hunny! Daddy's busy right now."

"But daddy, why are you trying to go in the bathroom? Mommy's already in there, she needs her private time!"

"Well daddy is just… uh, fixing the doorknob! Your mommy is stuck in the bathroom and she needs me to fix the door so she can get out!" 

"Ok, but I was just hoping you could tie my-"

"Sorry dear but I really am busy!" Krillin said, not wanting Eighteen to hear him talking with Marron. "Whatever it is I'm sure Master Roshi or Chi Chi can help you."

"Oooookkkk," Marron went back downstairs.

"Whew," Krillin sighed and went back to picking the lock.

*Several Minutes Later*

"Got It!" Krillin whispered. He snuck into the bathroom, oh so quietly. It was very misty so he couldn't make out his wife behind the shower curtain. Krillin stripped down to his boxers (he wanted to leave atleast a little work for her) and crept towards the her. Going into the shower behind her he started "Hey Babe, ya wanna have some- HOLY SHIT!" Krillin slipped and fell off onto the ground. "AHH!" he screamed in total shock because it was not Eighteen he found in the shower, but a butt naked pig!

"AHHHH!!! HELP! RAPE!" Oolong screamed in a high pitched girly voice. He struggled to hide himself. 

Just then Eighteen burst through the door- "What's going on in here?!"

"YOUR HUSBANDS A PERVERT!" Oolong squealed running out the door.

"GET IT AWAY! MAKE IT GO AWAY!" Krillin said trying to get the picture of Oolong out of his head. 

"Krillin, what just happened?"

"I, um… really had to go?" Dumb excuse.

"There's another bathroom downstairs."

"Ok Ok, I thought it was you. So I figured I'd come in and, visit." Krillin said, trying to wipe himself clean of excuses.

"You mean like, visit up close?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Shame! But I forgive you."

"Really?"

"Only if you get me that new dress I was showing you, and clean the kitchen." Eighteen said, with a sinister grin in her face.

"Of course, always picking on the short guy," Krillin moaned and started to get to work on his newfound chores.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That's the end of chapter two! There's no telling when the next chap. Will be up, but ill try to make it good! Please- Friendly r&r! but advice is good! And whoever did that one thingy about no videl- im sorry, but she's gonna have to be in it! So email me or review or something! Help is always good- till the next chapter! Thankies for reading! And always remember- THIS WORLD IS MADE OF LOVE AND PEACE! LOVE AND PEACE! LOVE AND PEACE! LOVE AND PEACE! (Vash the Stampede- Trigun)


	3. Circumstances

~**Ashley** :D~ HELLO! ASHLEY HERE! I'M ANNOUNCING THIS *NEW* CHAPTER TO MY FICCIE!

~**Sephiroth** -.-~ You know you don't have to scream, its not like they can hear you through the computer screen.

~**Ashley** :o~ Wow! Your right! I never thought about that! Thank you sooooo much for enlightening me! *snuggles up to my beloved Sephy!*

~**Sephiroth** o~ Get off me before I slice you limb to limb!

~**Ashley** T.T~ Fine! *pulls away*

~**Sephiroth**~ Just get the disclaimer over with, before I decide to come back to life and avenge my mother by once again unleashing meteor!

~**Ashley **^.^v~ Well, we wouldn't want that to happen! At least not the whole mother avenging meteor part! So I guess I'll just do the disclaimer then…

~**Sephiroth **#-.-~ Good, now I'm leaving. *walks off*

~*~_Disclaimer_- NO OWN DBZ! KAPEESH!~*~ 

~**Ashley**~ SEPHY WAIT FOR ME! *runs away towards a distant Sephiroth*

Cheesy Announcer Dude "Last time on DBZ- After Departing with their ruined home, Gohan, Goten, and ChiChi split their separate ways! ChiChi stayed at the well known Kame place where Krillin is getting into all sorts of trouble! And speaking of trouble, that's a great word to describe what Bulma and Vegeta were doing when Gohan and Goten arrived at the Brief's residence. So, don't miss this great new episode of DRAGON BALL Z!"

****

St. Patrick's Dragon Balls

Chapter Three ~ Circumstances

'_I wonder how I'm going to get to help Gohan!_' Dende thought, looking out at the sky, where the sun was now setting. '_I'm beginning to believe anything is better than this._' He glanced over at Piccolo quickly who was still in deep meditation. Dende walked to the other side of the floating fortress to find Mr. Popo and began helping him water some plants.

'_Planning something eh Dende?_' Piccolo thought to himself. He was, after all, partially telepathic.

~*~At Videl's House~*~

Videl was busy finishing up some science homework she had. '_Now lets see…_' she was deep in thought. "How does that crazy old hag expect us to know the orbit of Jupiter's moon Callisto! We haven't so much as brushed on that subject! Grr…" Videl thought even harder, hoping she'd remember something about it. But all she could think of was the charming young man who sat next to her in the class. 

Videl sighed and relaxed in her chair, propping her arms behind her head. '_His beautiful black hair, that soft fair skin, his eyes… the way they pierce my heart every time our gazes lock… **But that doesn't help with my homework!**_' She reminded herself quickly snapping out of her daze. 

"That's it I just cant concentrate!" Videl said angrily. "I better call him and ask for some help on this," she said to herself. '_Hopefully **one** of us pays attention in class … Or maybe… I should be hoping he gets distracted just like me…_' Videl mentally kicked herself for once again blinking off into her happy little romantic world and searched for a phone she could call her beloved Gohan with.

~Ring! Ring!~

*Please pickup! Please pickup!*

~Ring! Ring! Ring!~

*Come on- Pickup! Pickup! Pickup!*

~Ring! Ring!~

*Why isn't he picking up?!?*

~Ring! Ri- "Call Error." A monotone operator voice that we all know too well came on. "The number you are trying to reach is out of service. Please hang up and try again later. Call Error. The number you are trying to reach is out of service. Please hang up and try again later. Call 

Err-" *CLICK*

"CALL ERROR!?! OUT OF SERVICE?!?" Videl screeched and slammed the phone into its socket, nearly causing the entire thing to fall off of the wall it was mantled onto. *sniff* "But 

Gohan!!" T.T 

Videl pouted and jumped back on her bed. "All I wanted to do was talk to you! But no!" Videl tried to figure out what possibly could have caused something like that to happen to his phone. 

"What if something happened to him!" She seriously put this possibility through her head. 

"…WAAAAAA!!!!!" Videl stuffed her head under a pillow and started sobbing like a baby.

~Ring! Ring!~

Videl perked up. 'The phone…?'

~Ring! Ring!~

"Could it be?!?" She said excitedly.

~Ring! Ring! Ri-

"Hello, Sataan residence! This is Videl speaking!!!"

"Oh hey Videl! I was hoping you'd pick up! Its me-"

"GOHAN! I KNEW IT WAS YOU!!!!"

"Um… No this is Erasa, hate to disappoint you!" ^.^V

"Oh my god! I'm SO sorry!" *sniff*

"Its ok!"

*sniff* "So how are you doing?" *sniff*

"I'm fine… Do you have a cold or something Videl? You sound like you've been crying!"

"What?! Crying! Why I'd never!" O

"Ok! Just sounded like it! So what are you up to?"

"…Well, I do need some help on our homework!"

"Yeah sure! No problem!"

~Several Minutes Later~

"Thanks a lot Erasa! I was completely lost on that assignment!"

"Don't mention it! But you might want to pay better attention in class, you know?"

"Well… I kind of can't help it with Gohan sitting next to me," Videl said, blushing madly. But she was comfortable talking to Erasa about this type of thing, however she would not likely have whispered about it under her breath to anyone else.

"You're really crazy about him aren't you?"

"Well, yeah! But that's old news, who's it looking like for you right now?"

"Me? I'm living the single life!" The two of them laughed airily.

"Well," Videl said, "I think I better get going. I've got to get some training done before I go to bed!"

"Alright! Don't ware yourself out!"

"I won't! -Ja!"

"Sayonara!" *Click!*

Videl sighed and brushed her fingers through her hair. She put the phone back into its socket and thought about why Gohan's phone line had been disconnected. "…Oh well," She said shrugging. "Time to go hit the punching bag!" Videl started out of her room and down towards the gym.

~*~Next Day at the Briefs Residence~*~

Bulma pulled herself out of bed and looked around. Vegeta was no longer at her side. '_Probably in the gravity room._' She stood up, running a hand through her messy "bed hair", and walked down to the kitchen. Once she made it her mouth dropped to the ground when she saw the room.

It was an absolute pigsty. There were random splatters of food mixtures all over the walls, ceiling, and floor. A certain odd looking green one was particularly questionable. Her eyes slowly made their way to the counter where she found Gohan, Goten, and Trunks huddled around an assortment of pots and pans. Trunks caught a glimpse of her in the back of his eye and spun around.

"Hey mom! What's up?"

"What's up?! MY KITCHEN THAT'S WHAT! What are you three doing!?!"

"Oh, hi Mrs. Briefs!" Gohan said cheerfully. "You're a little low on food in your refrigerator, so we decided to make breakfast."

  
"Well I wouldn't exactly consider any of you to be chefs." Bulma said grumpily. "Where is Goku? I know that he can _almost_ cook a meal without destroying the whole house."

"He's still asleep," Gohan said. "We tried to wake him up but it was no use."

"Oh it wasn't was it?" Bulma stormed out of the kitchen into the family room where she found Goku sprawled out on the couch. "GOKU-SON! YOU GET UP THIS INSTANT!"

"…zzz…hmmm… pork chops… zzz…"

"grrrr… GOKU!!!! WAKE UP! YOUR CHILDREN ARE DESTROYING MY HOME!!!!"

"…sausage…" *snore*

"GOKU! ITS FRIEZA! HE'S RETURNED AND IS ATTEMPTING TO TURN EARTH INTO A BALL OF ICE!"

Goku smiled dumbly and rolled over, still snoring.

Fuming, Bulma stormed out of the family room and back into the kitchen. Gohan, Goten, and Trunks eyed her cautiously. She grabbed hot pan off the burner and dragged Goten out to the living room with her by his ear.

"Ouch! What are you doing?!"

"Just come with me." Bulma stopped in front of the sleeping Goku *…steeeaak…* and handed the pan to Goten. "Now," Bulma started. "I want you to hit this man over the head with that frying pan."

"But… That's my dad!" Goten said, confused.

"No it isn't, that's an evil villain who has stolen your dad's body. If you don't hit him with that pan then he'll wake up and destroy the world!"

"Oh no!" Goten exclaimed gullibly. "AHHHH!" He raised the frying pan and then flung it down on top of Goku's forehead then brought it back up and slammed it down again. He continued this with much agility. You could hear the grown man's skin sizzle when the pan stayed down on his head for too long.

"OOOWWW!" Goku snapped up started dancing around, trying to get his head to stop hurting. Goten panicked and went at the sayaijin even more ruthlessly.

"Hey! Quit it! Ow! Bulma make him stop!" Bulma just laughed. "BULMA!!!"

"Ok, ok. Goten, he's not really a bad guy - That's your dad." Goten stopped and looked at his dad, who was rubbing his head. His eyes watered over and he dropped the pan before he started bawling. 

*sniff* "I'm sorry daddy! I didn't know! I thought you were evil! WAAAA!"

"Oh, son its ok! Don't cry!" he quickly diverted his attention. "Bulma what's your problem?! That hurt!"

Bulma giggled and then broke out in laughter, she just couldn't take Goku seriously when he had a giant red spot on his forehead.

-.- "Stop laughing! I'm being serious!" Bulma gathered herself and sighed, trying to keep herself from cracking when she saw Goku's angry expression. Gohan then walked in the room, followed by Trunks.

"I've got to go now or I'll be late for school." Gohan said after gathering the situation. "I'll pick up something to eat on the way there."

"Ok son, have a good day!" Goku said, suddenly cheerful. You'd never guess that he'd just been severely beaten with a steaming frying pan.

"Bye Gohan!" Trunks and Goten both called after him before he flew from the house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

OK!!! I just wanna post this chapter! So im done, I know it was kinda pointless but next chapter ill make it be st patties day - so stay tuned! And believe it or not I have most of this fic all plotted out, lol. I know that's really hard to believe but its true. So ill write more later! Ok, at this time, when u have finished reading the chapter, it is polite to REVIEW! So I would appreciate it if you did so! Arigato! Ok im out!!!!! Bai!!

~*~Random Quotie~*~

Do you like life? Good, because I don't enjoy taking a life if it is not appreciated. - The male pill popper villain version of me from 1994 movie The Professional.


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